- Date of Release: 18 July 2025
- Genre: Adventure, Animation
- Language: English
- Watch On: Theatres Only
Smurfs
Introduction
I wonder if Danny Boyle will ever utilize the ‘Smurfs’ footage for his franchise reboot 28 Years Later. And remember this is possible given how haunting Teletubbies was in the film! But the reason why I am floating this idea to the universe is because the plot around these blue-skinned creatures is perhaps the most generic plot in the history of animated films. The good versus evil template is been in the reckoning so many times now that it is now frustrating to sit through stuff that isn’t even sure of the age demographics that it wishes to cater to. Is the age demographics for the new Smurfs movie 3 years and below? Because even a third grader won’t buy into this mess of a film that it uneventful from the word go. The idea may well have been to renew the franchise for the heck of it – it wouldn’t necessarily be an anatomy of a magical book that holds the key to the answers and powers of the universe. This isn’t a Marvel film that would pit the Avengers against Thanos for the Infinite Stones – nope, nowhere close. This is in fact a drab film that is so derivative that it comes across as shockingly poor, and then some more!
Story & Screenplay
Smurfs resembles a test match featuring the batter dead-batting the ball on the flattest wicket possible. This basically means that the story is a one-liner – a tale so predictable that even predictability would feel interesting after a point. The lines are drawn – Smurfs are the guardians of the magical book in an imaginary land far far away from reality. And ideally where there ought to have been a buildup of sorts with respect to the backstory of the book, the focus quickly shifts to one of the characters in the tale, a smurf named No Name (James Corden). In many ways, this remains a coming of age tale for No Name who hasn’t discovered the magic within him. He has tried out several chores but to no effect, making him a generic and uneventful Smurf, just like the movie. Basically his conflict is that there is no conflict, just like the film (again).
On the other hand, the magical book is searched by a kiddie villain Gargamel (JP Karliak) who works for the Council of evil forces (interestingly a triad drawing a mythological parallel). Gargamel also has an evil twin Razamel (again voiced by JP Karliak) who kidnaps Papa Smurf (John Goodman) to another world, in exchange to receive information for the ‘missing’ magical booklet. And it is left to the Smurfs lead by Smurfette (Rihanna) to lead her clan to recovery that includes the freeing of Papa Smurf. It is clearly a good versus evil template that has literally nothing else to offer but reroutes – that includes an episode set in Snooterpoots, or a random flashback involving a random character whose legend continues to live on amongst the Smurf veterans.
The tale here could have been so much more with respect to the power dynamics of the film. In the good versus evil template, a simplistic take of morality along with lesser doses of geo-politics could have been inculcated (remember last week’s Superman?), that atleast could have made things remotely watchable. But this continued to remain a masterclass in generic filmmaking that is so lame and so dull, that it would probably irritate the youngest member of the crowd that has arrived to watch the film. We are finally here with microtales on the OTT platform – and the one-liner story of Smurfs would have been an ideal candidate for a tale in under a minute. But to think of it, the makers had the audacity to stretch a one-liner plot into a 90 minute film? It was a slog and a half of the worst quality in filmmaking!
After a point, I hardly cared for the blue-skinned characters who felt the same, and in dozens. No matter who was rescued, captured or betrayed, I care only two hoots for every character. Each minute resembled a torturous collaboration between the makers of this film and the masked killer from I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025). It almost felt like I as a viewer had to choose a pill of severity from the two – red would lead to brain fade and blue would lead to a brain freeze. Either way, I felt my brain cells being punctured sliced and stemmed by the blue-skinned killers that showcased no mercy. And why do I feel that this made for a great callback tale than the stupidest Smurfs movie ever that had a happy ending onscreen, but a torturous ending for the viewers. The screenplay is probably the worst that I have witnessed all year!
Dialogues, Music & Direction
It almost felt that each technician was on a notice period here. The dialogues are so generic that they double up as sleeping pills for the viewers. The music and BGM is so forgettable (except the finale song) that it does a tremendous disservice to the kindness and goodness that the film aspires to stand for. This is because the kindness and goodness (definitely the trait of a superhero, don’t be mistaken) is preachy, and just so generic (for the million-th time) in its presentation that it hardly makes any impact, emotionally or otherwise. The animation is everything that you get when you use AI-generated visuals that have no depth at all, while completely being devoid of any emotions in store. And in a film like this that relies heavily on the emotions to drive the narrative, it is a criminal offence when it is devoid of it, thereby making it drab and then some more! The length of the film is a whopping 90 minutes, and the film is 90 minutes too long, something that I owe to the obnoxious editing style that has no fizz to it. Director Chris Miller misses the mark by over two million light years and counting. Neither are there emotions in store, nor characters that are memorable, and let alone the ridiculously generic (number 2 million, tada) sense of world building that the drama caters to. In fact, the direction is so poor that it gave an impression that the film was like a headless chicken – directionless!
Voiceover
The voiceovers are hardly inspiring here. Kurt Russell as Ron and John Goodman as Papa Smurf are woefully mediocre and generic (what’s the count again?). Natasha Lyonne as Mama Poot comes across as more annoying than anything else. JP Karliak as the dual voiceovers for Gargamel and Razamel is stereotypical and has the vibe of a kiddie villain that is anything but intimidating. At a point, I couldn’t tell once voice from the other which was such a shame. Nick Offerman as Ken is plain average. Rihanna as Smurfette is more from the point of view of her brand name more than anything else. How else would you explain how bad her voiceover is in the film? James Corden as No Name is dull and uneventful with his voiceover. At no point was I emotionally invested in his character or his coming of age journey, that accurately summed up his rather forgettable character.
Conclusion
Smurfs is a low-effort SMURF-iliciously bad animated drama that gave me an impression that the content here is on a notice period. The drama is unbearably poor and that is the best compliment that I could ever give to this rather generic film. Steer clear from this mediocrity! Available in a theatre near you.