Kyaa Dil Ne Kahaa-Roast Blog
The remake saga is not new and this one is a perfect example. It’s the remake of a Tamil movie which was the remake of a Telugu movie. Kyaa Dil Ne Kahaa is the perfect example of a movie that has nothing to say but says so much. The movie starts with Esha (pronounced Aaysha) moving to New Zealand to study and her entire, 20-member, family panicking because it’s so far away. Her mum warns her to stay away from “goras” and meet a nice Indian guy because they are seedha. I don’t understand why she’s going to study anyway because her plans are to get married immediately after. She is staying with her dad’s friend whose son has been madly in love with her since they were kids. This guy is super nice and understanding, but she only has eyes for our toxic boy, Tushaar Kapoor.
Tushar is the exact opposite of what her mum wanted. He’s constantly moving from one girl to another, but his only friends are two middle-aged Indian men (Dilip Joshi and Atul Parchure) with terrible hair pretending to be college kids. He sees her in college, but at the time there’s a random white woman giving him a rose which he throws away and it lands in her hand. She had been crying because she didn’t get admission (even though she has an admission letter and a student visa, but whatever) and the rose gives her hope. Then they meet again by accident and he immediately harasses her and even kisses her while she’s drinking from a tap without her consent. The next day he gets a 95% in his exam, but he decides he doesn’t deserve it because he cheated so he goes and tells his professor in Hindi. The prof translates this to the Dean who is so impressed with Indian honesty that it even extends to other students and Esha finally gets admission. Then we never see the college again until their graduation day which is the next scene. Now she’s fallen madly in love and is determined to marry him. He’s also into her, but won’t commit and flirts with other women in front of her. Meanwhile, the nice guy wants to confess his love but sees them together and backs off.
Tushaar has a “difficult” life. He is super rich and spoilt and his parents love him a lot but they don’t love each other so they fight. He’s so angry with them that he dresses as the joker at their 25th-anniversary party and embarrasses them in public.
Esha comes back to India and the greatest scene in the history of cinema happens. Tushaar calls her from the airport and says he’s moving to the US and she must forget him, but she spots him on TV because the Indian cricket team is coming home too and somehow the camera is more focused on him. He then proceeds to tell her to kiss the screen as he approaches the camera. It’s super gross and someone shared this clip on the group a while ago if someone wants to watch.
Tushaar’s parents also come to India to meet Esha’s parents and it sorta seems like they’ve moved permanently. Esha’s family is the most supportive pariwar in the world and they take her rishta to them, but as they are talking Tushaar comes and announces that he will not get married. He makes plenty of arguments against weddings and blames his parents, even comparing Esha to a dog and saying he loves dogs but doesn’t marry them then why should humans get married. Esha had no idea that the guy she was with for 2 years felt this way. I wonder what they talked about when they were dating? However, he doesn’t want to leave Esha even though she made it clear that she wants to get married. Her parents are super nice and say if she wants to be with him then they won’t stop her, but luckily she has the confidence to stand up for herself. Tushaar continues to stalk and harass her though. Randomly drives a bike into her house, threatens her family, laughs at her beliefs and gaslights her. Her father (Raj Babbar) publicly insults his father (Rajesh Khanna) who has a heart attack.
She then agrees to marry the nice guy, who is genuinely an angel and refuses to do it without her consent. Tushaar tries to take her away again saying, we’ll think about marriage in 5 years but she says no. He leaves his family and her for Bangalore, immedietely after his dad almost died to start a new life.
At the airport, he meets a man who’s crying because his wife is dying. This makes Tushaar realizes he loves Esha so he goes to her wedding. Her family doesn’t kick him out yet again. He just sits there. Esha sees him and runs to him abandoning everything she said before. He then says he’ll marry her and the nice guy moves aside with a smile (the least toxic character in Bollywood history).
Moral of the story: Women should not go to study outside India because they have to get married anyway. People in live-in relationships are sinning. If you date someone it HAS to end in marriage. Toxic men will always get the girl.
And we wonder why the country is the way it is.
Disclaimer: The above review solely illustrates the views of the writer.