What the f**k did I just watch! Not sure if it is the heat which is getting to me or the so called film which I just finished watching. I usually do not like to go all out considering how tough filmmaking is. But once in a while there is this one film that comes and really tests your patience. And Bollywood has been guilty of it quite often. If it was Satyameva Jayate 2 last year and Bachhan Pandey in March, it is Heropanti 2 in April. Why do I get this feeling that some films are made just to measure the IQ of the nation every now and then. And mind you when these films flop then it is proved that the intellect of the nation is intact(no puns intended). If you find me rambling through this review then please excuse me. Because the trauma and after effects of this film are real. Without wasting any more time, lets smash Heropanti 2. This review may contain strong language so reader’s discretion is advised.
Story & Screenplay
A second in the series and having no relation to the first Heropanti which was out in 2013, Heropanti 2 follows the story of …nothing. because there is no story. A weird antagonist who is a magician trying to hack the accounts of all people before the tax deadline only to be hauled up by the “superstar” hacker. As he rightly said, Jaadugar Tiger se pange nahi lete(magicians do not maul tigers). I promise I did not go in with any agenda. After a terrible first trailer, the second trailer did show some promise. And although I did not expect a masterpiece, I thought it would genuinely be entertaining. But I was wrong and by a f***ing mile. The screenplay is probably the worst that I have witnessed in a very long time. So much so that the likes of Satyameva Jayate 2 and Bachchan Pandey would seem like gems in front of it. There is literally no head or tail to this screenplay.
I wonder with the set of writers onboard, How was this terrible idea conceived. Did the makers not know that this is literally a trainwreck? How could they approve this dogs**t? Seldom do I get so angry after a film but my hands are shivering as I type this review. Not only did I have a headache but the film was genuinely a slog. A bunch of scenes just packed along the way formed the first half. The actress telling the protagonist to remove his pants in a mall is just atrocious and downright cringy. Not sure who formulated such a scene. In another scene, a doctor with b**asts protruding enters the room to remove a bullet from the protagonist’s a**, I mean what the hell was going on.
There are so many scenes which are copied from other films like Swordfish and The Harry Potter films that it made me wonder if the makers think that in the day and age of technology, the audience will be oblivious to that fact. The second half goes into a flashback and by then I was going through my motions. With every minute, my headache was on the rise and I was patiently waiting for the film to end. It finally did but not before one of the lamest climaxes which I have witnessed lately. This is a royal mess of the highest order.
Dialogues, Music & Direction
The dialogues are hell cringy. Lines like ok MC BC – main chali, bye cutie or yeh maa hai yeh behan hai, jao maa behan karo(never mind the translation) just made me want to slap myself for taking a trip to the theatre. Why would you write such cringy lines which make absolutely no sense. The music by the stalwart AR Rahman is not bad as many people are making it out to be. But it is definitely not his best either. I was surprised that a legend like AR Rahman agreed to be a part of this film. And the songs appear out of nowhere and they seemed so random. The BGM did not match with the pulse of the drama. The production design was good and so was the cinematography but these cannot save a bad film. I am also surprised that a director like Ahmed Khan is repeatedly getting such big films when even some of his other works did not exude any confidence(even though a couple of them were hits). The man is a great choreographer but is probably one of the worst in direction. The direction is really bad here and it further aggrevates the bad writing. Abd why would you give Tiger Shroff slow-mos when the man is as fast as lightening in reality? This is beyond me!
The performances are so bad that lesser said about them the better. Amrita Singh is just about ok and probably the best actor on display. Nawazuddin Siddiqui as Laila just hams his way through his part. I must say this is probably his weakest performance of his career as an antagonist which had a psychological issue similar to the Joker(there I committed a cardinal sin by comparing the two). Tara Sutariya as Imaaya will now hold the distinction of the worst performance of 2022 so far. She looked pretty and I know she has the potential but here her character was irritating so much so that I felt like putting a tape on her mouth. It is about time she starts selecting proper projects as opposed to the ones which just helps her stay relevant. Tiger Shroff, I know can fight and dance. But when will the actor standup? He wasn’t utilized in fight and dance too properly but acting was his sole responsibility and he has failed yet again. The problem is he isn’t working on his craft and repeatedly signing such mindless films which cater to his secondary skills. If this trend continues, he may soon become irrelevant. Here, he barely opens his mouth to deliver dialogues. His sleech isn’t clear and it almost seems like a murmur or a whisper. The skills won’t get better overnight but it will get better provided he wishes to work on them. Wake up Tiger! Oh and the ‘Choti Bachchi Ho Kya’ line also seemed less convincing this time around.
There was a line at the end when Nawaz tells Tiger, iss acting ko toh Oscar milna chahiye(this performance deserves an Oscar). He is right! As stated by Anmol on Tried and Refused Productions, Heropanti 2 deseves an Oscar for successfully killing my brain cells bit by bit. The question remains – jab inko aati nahi toh inki jaati kyun nahi. Steer Clear and save your money on paracetamol. Available in a theatre near you, so maintain distance!