Coolie No 1
Introduction
This was supposed to be a review of AK vs AK. But for some inexplicable reason the movie was not yet uploaded on Netflix till about 11 pm IST. And so the movie next in line was Pandemic No.1 aka Coolie No.1. Now, though I had called Coolie No. 1 a pandemic, I still wanted to give it a fair trial. A remake of the original 1995 Govinda starrer of the same name, is this Coolie No. 1 version 2.0 better than it, lets find out.
Story & Screenplay
Coolie No. 1 follows the same story of the original. A coolie falling in love with a rich girl and forcing her father to believe he is rich as well. These sort of stories were typically of the 90s, where a lot of cringe worthy stories were up for consuming like hot cake. Year 2020 and with the rise of OTT, we have come a long way. The story is absolutely stale. I was willing to put this aside in return for an entertaining screenplay. The screenplay is not bad, it is very bad! This was a 140 minute torture that would make Sadak 2 look like Sholey. The slapstick comedy did not make me laugh one bit. Instead it gave me a headache and a feeling of puking. Clearly I am allergic to bullshit!
Dialogues, Music & Direction
The dialogues are meant to be funny but it made me cringe as I watched them with a poker face. How could anyone approve this shit. Do they not know how bad the writing is? The writers should be bloody fined for this mess. The music is recycled too just like the movie. I missed the iconic pair of Govinda and Karisma Kapoor here. Director David Dhawan is a legendary filmmaker(no puns intended) and has given us so many entertaining films. But clearly he is stuck in the 90s and has not evolved one bit. His direction is actually bad, I must say this with a very heavy heart.
Performances
This movie should be a case study on how not to overact. All actors were loud and overacting. It hurts to say that talented actors like Paresh Rawal, Jaaved Jaafri and Johnny Lever are reduced to carricatures. Each one was trying to undo the other in this overacting competition. Sara Ali Khan is clearly not smart with her choices. In her four film career, this is her third remake! And her acting is at another level of overacting. Sahil Vaid is decent, so is Shikha Talsania. Varun Dhawan is no Govinda, neither a Mithun. Gosh if someone had to cut Rs 50 for his overacting, he would have been a f******* billionaire. Just so so bad, and not sure why is he opting for such recycled scripts. He has an October and a Badlapur to his name. The man can act, but no! This should be an eye opener for him. Say no to bad scripts!
The Rant
Bollywood is repeatedly giving fodder to the trolls with simply bad movies. This movie will not be spared, definitely not on an OTT platform. Nothing original about this Amazon venture. The world is making movies like Tenet but here Bollywood is using the concept of Temporal pincer and making remake after remake that too pathetic ones. Gosh this has made me angry!
Conclusion
It just hurts for me to give negative reviews because filmmaking is a hard job and I really respect that. But you cannot take the audience for a ride and continue to mint money. Coolie No.1 is actually Cringe No.1. It is downright unfunny and boring that will end up giving you a headache. Watch it at your own risk, else save your money on medicines. Available on Amazon Prime.